Game Review - Microsoft Jackpot (2014, Windows 8)

You know how everybody's favorite gameplay mechanics are the ones that are totally random?  Have you ever wondered how epic a game consisting entirely of random elements could be?

Well, friend, you need not wonder any more - Microsoft Jackpot is the "game" that will fulfill all your mildest dreams!

I'm not going to beat around the bush on this one.  Microsoft Jackpot is a slot machine simulator.  That's it.  Unless you're looking for an outlet for your gambling addiction, there's absolutely no reason for you to "play" this "game."

But that's no fun...  Instead, let's talk about features: You can unlock five different skins for your slot machine, including one that resembles a spy thriller and one that turns the slots into a candy factory.  Talk about purely aesthetic value!

The "Year of the Dragon" skin. Note the convenient "autoplay" so you don't even have to push "Spin" to keep "playing!"

How do you unlock these superficially different machines?  By spending imaginary money, of course!  Your in-game "experience level" seems to be completely determined by the total bets you've made, and as it increases, you'll get access to the new machines and higher bet amounts.  The more you sink into this "game," the more you'll be able to spend on a single spin of the slots.

You may be thinking, "this game already sounds amazing; sign me up!"  Well, hold on to your butts because there is even more!

If you're lucky, each of the slot machine skins will randomly send you to a unique interactive minigame.  You'll get things like "pick a gem" or "choose a bubble."  Even better, these minigames are usually rigged against you, just like real-life slot machines!  It really is the full gambling experience right in your very own home!

Click a gem...

...and choose a bubble!

Now, you may have noticed a startling omission in my description of this "game."  How do you get more coins to keep playing when you run out?

It's simple, friend - you purchase some with real cash money!  Alternatively, you can watch a commercial once every half hour, but then you may run out of coins and be forced to stop while you wait for your next advertisement.  Definitely not a good way to "play."

They even point out the transaction that gives you the most for you hundred and fifty dollars.  How helpful!

You can also get "lucky clovers" from the Jackpot Store.  As far as I can tell, those clovers bestow the most marginal of benefits, but every tenth of a percent helps, right?

 Seriously, that's it.  Watch commercials (or spend real-life monies) so you can click on things that provide totally random outcomes regardless your input.  It's insulting to call this a "game."

My Rating: 0/10 - totally worthless.

Game Review - Rayman Jungle Run (Windows 8, 2013)

As I am one of the seventeen people left in this world without a smart phone, I've only recently been able to play any games that originated as mobile apps because many have now been ported to Windows 8.  They are games, (mostly) like any other, so I figure they're worth reviewing.

For what it's worth, my criteria for judging apps will be the same as a full retail game, so scores for the two types of games should be comparable.  I have much less experience with apps, though.  I played a bunch of Flash games back in the day, which seem pretty similar in a lot of ways, but things may be a bit rocky to start.

Anyway...

The first screen you'll see.

Rayman Jungle Run takes the successful Rayman franchise to the mobile world, making for a game with high production but low replay value.  It's fairly entertaining for a time, but it never rises above a decent way to kill 10 or 15 minutes during your day.  Here's what it has to offer:

Being unfamiliar with the mobile game market, I don't know if there's a general category for games like Rayman Jungle Run.  The basic gameplay is very simple: Rayman will continuously run toward the end of the stage; your job is to get him there safely.

Inputs are limited to two of Rayman's characteristic actions, jumping and punching, but his abilities (also including wall running and floating) are introduced slowly as you progress, giving the player plenty of time to adjust.  That's actually one of my biggest complaints - out of 50 levels, only 10 incorporate all the skills without featuring one in particular.  A broader diversity of stages would have given the game a lot more longevity, but the ones that are included are decently entertaining.

The levels themselves are bite-size nuggets of gameplay.  Each can be completed in under 2 minutes, with the vast majority being closer to 1.  Even if you work on collecting all the Lums (the standard Rayman collectible), you likely won't need more than a handful of attempts to figure out the proper paths and timings.

(Almost) always running right, with the occasional break to swing on vines.

The game's only real challenge comes from the 5 unlockable levels at the end of each section.  Only accessible after collecting all 100 Lums in several stages, these levels involve more rapid responses and precise motions than the rest.  Successful completion of these stages is therefore much more satisfying than any of the others.  Again, more than 5 levels like that would have been awesome.

And that's really it.  I was able to complete every level and collect all the Lums in well under 4 hours of game time.  You could compete for leaderboard positions, though they're only tracked for those unlockable levels, and there are a couple achievements you wouldn't earn by replaying each level until you've mastered it (most notably for playing through the game without dying or restarting a level), but those are flimsy reasons to keep coming back.

There are also some issues with stability.  I had the game crash on me several times, often with no clear cause.  I was able to relaunch and resume the game without further difficulty, but it was quite an annoyance.

Flying with the aid of random updrafts.

On the bright side, Jungle Run does use the overall aesthetic from Rayman Origins, so it's pretty.  Sound effects and music tracks are taken from that title, too, giving an overall solid presentation.

All things considered, Rayman Jungle Run is a decent way to kill some time.  It's probably not one that will keep you interested for more than a few days, even with intermittent playing, but it's fun while it lasts.  There are definitely worse ways to spend a few bucks.

My Rating: 5/10 - ok.